Watching From the Sidelines
by facemygeneration
Summary: A Destiel story from Jimmy Novak's point of view. He watches the relationship unfold, using his own body without regard for his own thoughts on the subject. He must learn to handle it in his own way. Hoping this is the right rating, but there might be some swearing. Enjoy!


Watching from the Sidelines

facemygeneration

Dean and Castiel's relationship wasn't getting any less weird, but that was okay. With everything they'd seen, a little weird was practically relaxing.

After a while, they developed a few unspoken rules. These were mostly for Dean's benefit, but everyone, including Sam and Bobby, had to abide by them. For example, there was no mentioning the fact that they were a "gay couple." These words scared Dean way too much for him to ever think about them, let alone talk about them aloud.

Another thing that was never brought up was Jimmy Novak. If they had thought about it, maybe they would have remembered how he could see everything Castiel could. Maybe they would have wondered what he thought about the whole thing.

Jimmy Novak had, in fact, been watching the whole time, and he did have an opinion. Well, maybe multiple opinions would be a better way to put it. And those multiple opinions were conflicting at best.

There was that strange experience that he couldn't ignore. And strange really means terrible. Even if he were able to try, Jimmy didn't think he would ever be able to describe the feeling of having someone else sharing your mind with you. In the beginning, he couldn't even tell his own thoughts apart from Castiel's. But that was okay in comparison to what was coming. Thoughts were one thing to be confused by, but emotions were quite another.

To have someone else's feelings in your head and body is something more excruciating than words can describe. At first it was okay, because Castiel didn't feel emotions. He just followed orders from a higher level of angels. That was okay for Jimmy, because he could understand it. Maybe he didn't like the orders that Castiel was following, but he understood why he was doing it. Cas was an messenger of God, after all. Jimmy expected nothing less than complete obedience.

But then Castiel started talking to Dean Winchester.

Dean was a strong, opinionated, and always getting into trouble. Somehow, though, he always managed to find a way out of it. Jimmy couldn't help but feel impressed by this strange human being who specialized as something called a hunter, and he could feel that Cas was impressed too.

Jimmy knew that Castiel had dragged Dean out of Hell, and he knew how horrifying that experience had been. He also could sense, because of that event, Cas felt a need to protect Dean. It was a responsibility that might have even forced Cas to rebel against an order that could have hurt Dean. It was strange for an angel to feel that way, sure, but Jimmy didn't think too much of it at the time.

After a while, Jimmy started to consider Cas as a friend. He was a strange kind of friend, but a friend all the same. Maybe it was some disturbing type of Stockholm's, but Jimmy felt a definite loyalty to Cas. So when Dean started slinging around insults with no regard for anyone's feelings, it made Jimmy a little angry.

He knew that Dean didn't yet comprehend that angels have feelings too, and that was probably an accurate assessment, considering the angels that he had been around so far. Uriel and Zachariah were not good angels, after all. But Cas was different, and Jimmy expected Dean to know that by now.

After that, Jimmy told Cas that he should put Dean in his place. Cas was powerful and wonderful, and angels were a higher form of life, after all. Who was Dean to be calling them names when he was just a measly little human?

Being ridden twenty four-seven by Castiel had caused Jimmy to see quite a few angels. Not all of them were good, so he didn't expect the response that he got from his little rant. Castiel replied by stating that humans were just as important as angels, and that they should not be looked down upon. He was adamant about it, nearing on passionate.

That made Jimmy wonder how he upheld that opinion. Every angel that he had seen so far had disliked humans, sometimes even hating them. They called them names like "hairless apes" and much worse. Castiel had been around that all of his life, two thousand years or more, so how on Earth could he still believe what he did? And if his opinion had faltered, what had changed his mind?

He knew that Cas could hear those thoughts, but the silence that greeted his questions showed that he would not be provided with an answer. He pushed them away for a while, but he continued to wonder.

Then there was that moment when it all clicked. They were sitting by the playground and talking, and Castiel told Dean that he wasn't a hammer, that he had doubts. Jimmy looked on in wonder, and it was amazing to him for two reasons:

1. Both Jimmy and Dean knew how powerful he was, and that probably wasn't even him trying his hardest. Someone that impressive and powerful didn't need to explain himself to a measly human, so why was he?

2. Admitting doubts as an angel was akin to blasphemy, sacrilege, or treason. He should not be feeling those things, let alone admitting them to someone who could betray you so easily. He obviously trusted Dean, but he had no reason to, so why did he?

Those two questions flitted through Jimmy's thoughts, and he instantly put together the truth. Castiel, an angel of the Lord, was in love with a human. Cas may not have confirmed Jimmy's suspicions, but he proved it time and time again. He rebelled against Heaven for the guy, for Christ's sake!

Jimmy knew for sure how Castiel felt, but his own feelings were a bit more confusing. There was that part of him that remembered being a family man, a man with a wife and kids. But then there was that bigger part of him, that Castiel part of him, that loved Dean wholeheartedly. Sometimes, the lines got fuzzy and he didn't know which one was even him anymore. He wished that he could go back to his old life and love his wife the way he used to, with no unnatural regrets, but he knew he couldn't.

He also knew how much Castiel loved Dean, and how much it made sense. He hadn't known if they would ever make it, seeing as Dean was a complete dunce and might have never caught on, but he knew that he would be okay with it if they did.

He had been happy once, and he knew how great it felt. Maybe he would never be able to be that way again, but he wasn't angry or resentful. He had seen these people's lives. Dean and Sam had never caught a break. They'd been fighting their wholes lives, and would probably continue to fight until they died.

He decided that maybe on that off-chance that they actually get their act together, and Dean and Cas realize what they have, they could actually experience true happiness, and he would be able to see that and know that someone's life is better because of him. He would know that he had done something genuinely good.

Now they were finally together. It had taken a long time, but every decided it was better late than never. No matter how awkward or strange it might seem sometimes, they were happy. No one may ever mention the name Jimmy Novak again in their entire lives, but nonetheless, he was happy too.

The End.


End file.
